It has been a while since suicidal thoughts came into my mind. The current emotions weigh me down every day. This isn’t a sad story or one that requires your empathy, the sole reason I’m writing this is because I know that this might help someone out there make it through the chaos of depression and self-hate.
Nobody knows you like you do. Empaths can try to understand you. They can try to feel your pain even without you trying to share it and then they take it on like a sponge absorbing water and help you go through it. But what happens when there are no more empaths in the world? Where would you go to when there’s nobody to help you deal with those thoughts that weigh you down?
Tap into it already! Tap into the core inside of you. Of course, you might be scared that it is all chaotic but if I can recall clearly, most of our creation mythologies speak of the chaotic waters in the beginning and the creation of light and order from it; most of the geniuses and masterminds have written down in autobiographies and biographies on the role of chaos in their lives. In one simple sentence: THINGS HAVE TO GO WRONG BEFORE THEY GO RIGHT”.
Tap into your chaos, feed off of it. Yeah! It was weighing you down but it’s time to turn the tables around. Picture the great masters that sleep in the midst of the storms and find courage that whatever shit you’re going through isn’t going to make you drown. Oh! Alas maybe the cryptic writer (that’s me) lied, and you say “I’m already drowning”. Well, there’s hope for you. The deeper you go into the darkness of your mind, the better. The hope you’re holding on to lies in the fact that “IF ONE HASN’T DESCENDED, HOW WOULD ONE ASCEND?”
The place you are at right now is a good place whether you see it like that or not. It would be easier if you saw it like that. So let reality kick you in the shin and learn the lessons in that “bad” place. Fast forward into the future, you’d recommend that people should go through the same experience because you’re now a purified gold. So don’t avoid the reality of where you are. Is your boss an asshole? Are you family snitches and filled with jealousy? Or maybe your battle isn’t related to external factors, maybe it’s your self-esteem on the line, or you’re dealing with past mistakes, whatever it is, I am here to tell you that tap into it already. Let those waters over flood you so that you’d be able to ride the waves.
The Great Spirit provides an abundance of opportunities, wealth, possession, you name it. There is an abundance that is made available for you and for me irrespective of where we are in the order/chaos scale. Tap into that abundance and find your place in the scale, for to progress to the place of order from a place of chaos, we shouldn’t deny that we are at a chaotic place.