Spirtus Contra Spiritum

I’m looking for my mom
in the women I meet
Hoping they’d show love and
Wash these beautiful feet.

Sad vines and vibes
In the moment of desperation
Stab myself and eat my heart
Bad monikers infested with teenagers’ guilt.

Rhapsody of trips has casted
Dreams of partying phantoms
Chanting words of relief and bliss in periods of decay
Let us uphold these icy torches.

In my sadness, I looked up
The dark moon stood silent
I ran my eyes to the trees
No bats flew nor did the frog croak.
Croaks and chirps
Father, where’s your thigh to hide your infant?


I’m looking for mother in these women
My heart has been murdered in my search
Return me to the river of memory
Sons of Elohim dying like mortal men.

Heartbeats and triggers
Drown me in the waters of waters
Pull the damn trigger
Death to myself
A new creature to be reborn.

The fear in you attracts me
Not for my consummation
My agony trumps the borders
That thin line between your hatred and love
I see the beasts inside of you.

Run from my sight
Reduce your castings to ordered insights
In your thoughts of concealing behaviors
Relish in the wine that mocks my powers
Oh! My undeserved destiny.

Messengers of the dark web
In cryptic patterns of chaotic attacks
Preserve the Trojan war behind firewalls
A woman to win or to scorn.

Sons in search of mothers
Love in search of the wild
Peace in the inconsistent consistency of nature
Father, please find me again…

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